← All Long Time No Play assets

LONG TIME NO PLAY: copy battle test (email and SMS)

Reviewed as a senior CRM copy lead would: against the audience, the one job each piece has, and the click. Scores are out of 10.

Who we're writing to

Tsogo Rewards members, mostly Q-Tier, who haven't played playTSOGO in a year or more. Floor regulars first, online second; loyal to their casino, not to an app. They left, or never really started, because the old site didn't earn a habit. They don't need convincing that Tsogo is legit. They need a reason to believe the online side is different now, and zero friction getting back in (many have forgotten the password).

Scorecard

Asset Before After Biggest change
Email 1 (Long time no play) 7.5 9.0 Opening line now carries "we've changed" and R250 together; tables added; first-person buttons; P.S. kills the password excuse
Email 2 (It's not you. It's us.) 8.5 9.5 Tables added; same fixes carried over
SMS round 1 7.5 9.0 "We've changed" in the opener; a verb before the link; slots and live tables named
SMS round 2 8.5 9.0 Already strong; tightened and kept to one segment
Subject lines 8.0 9.0 R250 FREE Casino Bonus leads every line; one emoji max

Email findings and fixes (applied)

  1. The promise and the reason were split. The top said "Give it another go" and the offer sat below. New sub-line does both jobs at once: "Bigger, better, faster since you left. Here's R250 on us to come and see."
  2. The greeting was generic. "Hi Lerato" became "Lerato, it's been a while." It sets up LONG TIME NO PLAY and says we noticed they were gone.
  3. Table players were invisible. A floor regular is as likely to be a blackjack or roulette player as a slots player. Added a Live tables row (Lightning Roulette, Power Blackjack, Lightning Baccarat, Craps Live) under the slots, with the line "Slots and live tables, dealt the way you like them."
  4. Buttons said what we want, not what they get. "Log in to claim R250" became Claim my R250. First person, benefit first, one verb.
  5. The password is the silent killer. A year-lapsed player's biggest drop-off is the login screen. Kept the reset link under the button and added a P.S., the most-read line after the headline: "Long time no password either? It happens. Reset it here in seconds."
  6. R250 sat too low on small phones. Shorter hero image and tighter spacing: on a 375x667 phone R250 now shows on the first screen; on 375x812 and larger the first button does too.
  7. Rewards copy ran long. Cut to the one fact that matters: "You earned them on the casino floor. Now they play online too, at one point to the rand."

SMS findings and fixes (applied)

  1. Every message now carries one reason we changed: R10 deposits and faster payouts, 2,500+ slots and live tables, points playing online, "bigger, better, faster", with "we've changed" and "give us another shot" worked into the openers and last calls. Two messages sit at exactly 160 characters, so keep the short link at 23 characters or less.
  2. "New site" was a flat claim. Step 1 now reads "Long time no play, {Name}. We've changed. Claim: [link]": the story, the campaign line and a verb.
  3. Links need a verb. "Claim:" before the link on steps 1 and 3; the others end on a benefit, which does the same job.
  4. Tables named where there was room. Step 3: "2,500+ slots and live tables await."
  5. Every message: starts with playTSOGO:, R250 FREE Casino Bonus inside the first 40 characters, one GSM-7 segment including the full furniture line, name plus a no-name fallback.

What does the heavy lifting (and why it's safe)

Test plan